Some hot takes on food and lines
Plus an overdue bangers & jams roundup
I’ve only ever had one great experience waiting in a long line for food. My friend Graham and I posted up at Swan Oyster Depot in San Francisco at 10:15am, hoping to have their Sicilian crudo and seafood salad hit our table within 45 minutes. It was our first time. As the wait on Polk street stretched past 11, we befriended a lovely seafood purveyor behind us, who I at first thought was working us for cash. Two Irish coffees deep and visiting from Utah, he suggested the three of us eat together. We could get seated more quickly and try more food. We were down.
About an hour later, this man had ordered four dozen oysters and was working his way through every special on the menu, telling us stories about living on this block and eating at Swan in between Iraq war protests. It’s a cash-only establishment. I leaned over and encouraged him to go nuts, but said that I’ve got $200 on me and don’t plan on making an additional ATM run.
“No worries, man, I got you — oh, let’s do a dozen clams.”
The food was stunning, all I could possibly want in an indulgent lunch. As I was grabbing my phone to cancel a dinner reservation for that night, our new dining companion ordered another dozen then started rushing for the door.
“Yo.”
“Grabbing more cash. Be right back!”
Then, he was gone. I gave Graham a look, like, “Well, we probably should have prepared for this.”
“Are you going to go after him?”
“I’m not a narc.”
“So, we’re paying for all of this?”
“Unless I also pretend to go to the ATM and leave you here to deal with it.”
We slowly worked our way through the last round of oysters. Graham got a beer. And then our guy finally reappeared.
“You crushed the oysters without me?”
“Bro, I did not think you were coming back.”
He looked shocked, less offended by my lack of trust in him and more off put that anyone would try such shenanigans at his beloved institution. After lunch, we hugged and exchanged info. That afternoon, I got this DM:
So, that’s one good line experience. Otherwise, waiting in line for food is for suckers, though that’s not to say I never do it. Here are some more line and wait takes, plus an overdue round up of bangers and jams recs, now that everyone knows the difference between the two.